"How much you groom somebody else is much more important than who grooms you," observes Stanford primate biologist Robert Sapolsky, our Groom of the Day.  Speaking as a primate in six-inch stilettos, The Naughty Bride couldn't agree more.  And it's not just for the baboons Sapolsky observes in Kenya and in his book A Primate's Memoir, or his earlier (great) book Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers.  Grooming your Naughty Groom is much much better for you in the long run than getting the perfect naughty grooming yourself (although The Naughty Bride's Sex Widget has plenty of great books on getting your Groom's grooming technique perfected).   This is the great thing about naughtiness.  The more wicked good humor you show in the face of stress, the naughtier you are, the better you feel, the more possibilities you see in the world around you, and the better off the whole naughty planet becomes.  And if your own personal Naughty Groom is slow to pick up on it, the naughtier and funnier and sexier you are, the better able you will be to ask... nicely... for what you want.  So put down the Bridezilla Snit, or the Groomzilla Fit, and git da-yawn witchyo bad seff.  

And Robert?  You need some grooming, you big baboon.  

Borrow a comb if you have to... and take four smooches, you deserve them.  

The LATimes tells us today that "Happiness is Contagious" in an article citing research by Nicholas Christakis and James H. Fowler using data from the Framingham Heart Study.  

Surprisingly, a happy spouse who lives in the same house makes you 8% more likely to be happy yourself -- whereas a happy friend who lives within a half-mile makes you 42% more likely to be happy! The effect is decreased with distance -- the same friend living two miles away makes you "only" 22% more likely to be happy yourself.  A next-door neighbor who's happy has more effect -- conferring a 34% greater likelihood of happiness.  

Naturally, what applies to happiness applies to naughtiness as well.  But The Naughty Bride is inclined to think that a naughty spouse makes you at least 50% more likely to be naughty yourself.  So get out there and spread your naughtiness around.  A wink and a nudge have GOT to be at least as powerful as a smile.  Five smooches to Christakis & Fowler, our Grooms of the Day, and to EVERYONE in a two-mile radius, too!  

Gabriel Watson of Alabama, the Alleged Honeymoon Murderer whose new look-alike wife to his first we featured as Bride of the Day a few weeks ago, has been indicted by an Australian court.  While Australian authorities cannot force the American bubble-wrap salesman to appear, the trial will go forward to determine whether or not he turned off his dive-buddy wife's air supply while scuba diving on their honeymoon at a shipwreck near Great Barrier Reef, and then turned it back on after she'd fallen to the ocean floor.  Here is a photo of her submerged and incapacitated while an unwitting other diver (not her husband), poses for a photograph.  

The story is here at National Ledger, and the photos are here at TimesOnline.  What The Naughty Bride wants to know is, where's the new Mrs. Watson in all this?  And, will she accompany her groom to the Australian court so that the first Mrs. Watson's parents can get a look at her, the spitting image of their deceased daughter?  Will she offer her condolences to her sorta-semi-in-laws?  And given that they were just married a few weeks ago, do you think her groom Gabe will take her on a second honeymoon to Great Barrier Reef, so that he can show her his favorite wreck dive?  Because you know, you can't buy memories like these, you have to make them!  Two smooches -- for the poor soul who took this photo, probably rushed and barely looking at what was going on around him, because this has got to hurt.  

Today's Brides of the Day come via Entertainment Tonight, which runs a segment online about a segment for last week's ET about a segment on Rachel Ray's show... about a mass wedding set up by Ray's show for 33 brides and grooms whose weddings were cancelled/ruined/postponed/obliterated by the recent hurricane in Texas.   Some brides and grooms had already paid in full for the entire wedding and reception, only to have their big day swept away.  So five smooches to everyone involved, for reminding us of what's really important.  (Answer: In Texas, it's the hair!  j/k!)